Too Much Free Time

A blog of random thoughts and rants from nobody's favourite, Alaric.

Monday, October 23, 2006

Evil Twin Week

I have exactly 33 minutes to get this done. Let's go.
Welcome to Evil Twin Week, where we discuss evil twins. Monday's twin is Captain Pollution, the alternative to Captain Planet.
One day, the 5 main villains of Captain Planet got together and made special pollution versions of the Planeteer's rings. Thanks to Wikipedia, I know these villains and their powers.

Super Radiation (Duke Nukem. No, not that one. This one was an orange guy in an Hawaiian shirt)
Deforestation (I think this was Hoggish Greedly. Look, the show wasn't big on subtlety)
Smog (Looten Plunder. The villain I remember the best)
Toxics (Possibly Sly Sludge. I think it would fit.)
Hate (Dr. Blight, the hot evil female with a terrible secret)

And when their powers combined, and there is nothing cooler than hearing an orange hulkster in a Hawaiian shirt saying the words "Then let our pollution powers combine! Super Radiation!" without a hint of irony, they would summon Captain Pollution.
Captain Pollution had two advantages over Captain Planet. One, he caused pollution, Captain Planet's one weakness. Two, he had a cool insane surfer voice. It was mint. "By your powers combined, I am Captain Pollution!" doesn't sound cool on its own, but imagine a demented surfer saying it. Awesome.
Captain Pollution was so powerful that his first appearance merited a two-part episode, back before those things became popular. Nowadays, every cartoon follows one storyline for a whole series. Back then, you were lucky if things in one episode got referenced in another.
The Transformers did it all the time though, sometimes even three-parters. Because Transformers was the best.
Eventually though, ol' Captain Pollution got defeated in a massive comeback from Captain Planet. I think he rammed him through the Earth or something. Sounds pretty cool. The evil twin managed to make a comeback for another episode, but that was pretty much it.
I think, if they ever remake Captain Planet for modern times, Captain Pollution's gonna be an end-of-series villain, who the kids will have to defeat through teamwork and friendship and whatnot. As long as he still sounds like a crazed polluting surfer, I'll be happy.

2 Comments:

At 10/24/2006 2:26 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I love this blog! I can't even believe how much stuff I'm learning about Captain Planet! And yes, this is Bob. I'm alive and well. I'll send you an e-mail soon.

 
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